How are we cutting costs?

1) Only burning library books.

2) Switching to psychiatric resident.

3) Pretending we don’t understand ‘suggested donation’ concept.

4) Telling kids that Hanukkah is a fasting holiday

5) Tripping on the mushrooms growing in our sink

6) Filling gas tank with ‘beer and shot’ happy-hour specials

7) Replacing employees with chimpanzees holding magic 8-balls.

8) Fashioning crude tax shelter from cardboard and bamboo.